爸爸这个称号让我们联想到的词经常是父爱如山、缄默寡言、峻厉等等。
可是英语里有个词叫做Latte Pappa，直译过来就是“拿铁爸爸”，乍一看不知道是什么。
其实它是对瑞典全职爸爸的昵称。
也可以写作latte papa，latte dad，表达近似意思的还有SAHD——Stay-at-home dad（全职爸爸）。
"Latte papa" is a slang term that refers to a very attentive and attractive Swedish dad that can often be found in coffee shops with prams (hence the "Latte" name), wearing designer clothes, and toting one or more kids.
“拿铁爸爸”是一个俚语，指的是一个很是细心且有魅力的瑞典爸爸，你经常能在咖啡馆（所以才有“拿铁”这个名字）看到他们推着婴儿车，穿戴名牌衣服，带着一个或多个小孩儿。
Men with prams have become such a familiar sight since shared parental leave was first introduced in 1974 in Sweden that there's the name – "latte pappas" – for the tribe.
自从1974年共享育儿假在瑞典初次公布以来，汉子推婴儿车已经变得十分常见，以至于这个群体有了一个名字——“拿铁爸爸”。
《卫报》记者Richard Orange在瑞典城市马尔默的公共游乐空间不雅察到宝爸们的数目经常跨越宝妈们，宝爸们也是职业各别。
At the free-of-charge, drop-in play group in Malmö that is my morning refuge, the pappas often outnumber the mammas. I'll find myself sitting cross-legged next to a taciturn Swedish engineer, a heavily tattooed biker, or another migrant – a computer programmer from Chennai – as our children play with the wooden blocks, rattles and drums.
瑞典马尔默城的免费游乐场合是我早上可以喘气一会的处所，那儿宝爸的数目经常跨越宝妈。盘腿坐在那儿，我会发现旁边要不就是一个缄默寡言的瑞典工程师、要么是一个纹身很重的摩托车手、或是一个来自印度金奈的法式员移平易近，我们的小孩儿就在那儿玩积木、货郎鼓和手鼓。
This type of stylish dad gained prominence in the 2010s. Through the family leave program, both parents receive a collective 480 days and the parents can choose who gets to use them (and the policy encourage dads to use them first). This has led to more dads staying home with the kids and has allowed more women to pursue their careers.
这些时髦的父亲是在2010年月慢慢出名起来的。家庭产假打算让怙恃两边可以共享480天的产假，两人可以选择谁来休产假（且政策鼓动勉励爸爸先休）。这导致更多的爸爸们选择待在家里带孩子，也让更多的女性可以从事本身的事业。
固然名字叫做Latte Pappa，可是宝爸们不成能只在咖啡厅里带孩子。超市、书店、游乐土都有他们的身影。
不外最主要的育儿场合天然是——家。
那边才能不雅察和体验到最真实，同时也意味着最辛劳的育儿过程。
瑞典摄影师Johan Bävman的摄影展Swedish Fathers《瑞典爸爸》在跨越65个国度展出，2017年还来过中国上海。这一摄影作品历时两年完成，共拍摄了45组瑞典父子。
照片中的场景多为凌乱的厨房、卫生间、卧室、浴室，全职爸爸们多是惊慌失措的，无论他们在孩子出生前所从事的职业是土木匠程师仍是电工，面临少则1个，多则3个小生命，喂食、辅助排便、陪同玩耍、清理房间等不成避免地成为了他们多使命操作的一环。
《卫报》记者Richard Orange 2012年曾当过数月全职爸爸，他在文章中描述了带娃的一天，读者们都直呼“真实”，他的文字和Johan的照片配合拼集出了一个妈妈泛泛的一天——孩子哭的撕心裂肺，本身心急如焚，想尽法子用尽招数也止不住哭。
It's around 6 pm at the end of my third week of paternity leave, and since 5:30 pm I've checked the kitchen clock every five minutes.
此刻是我休爸爸产假的第三周末尾的下战书6点摆布，从下战书5点半起头，我每隔5分钟就要看一次厨房的闹钟。
My daughter Eira is crying and I can't work out what she wants. I try walking her around the kitchen for what seems like the 50th time today. I thrust a maniacally smiling wooden caterpillar at her, hoping it'll placate her. I've tried whisks, pots, the colander, all objects that have fascinated in the past, but nothing works.
我女儿埃拉在哭，我不知道她想要什么。我试着带她在厨房里转转，仿佛是今天第50次这么干了，没有用果。我把一只面带年夜笑的木头毛毛虫伸到她面前，但愿能安抚她，她仍是在哭。我还试过打蛋器、茶壶、滤锅，所有这些曩昔能吸引她的工具都不管用。
看了眼纸尿裤，是干的，用尤克里里弹儿歌，也没用，最后把小孩儿举到镜子前，反倒奏了效。
I peek inside her nappy, more for something to do than because I think it needs changing. I try playing her a Swedish children's song on the ukelele, but realize that's more for my own pleasure than hers. Finally I bounce her in front of the mirror in the hall, which, as always, snaps her out of it, and I stare at her happy gurgling face next to my own desperate smile.
我看了眼她的尿布，明知道不需要换，但我就是想找点事儿干。我试着用尤克里里给她弹瑞典儿歌，但我意识到底子就没取悦到她，还不如说是在取悦我本身。最后，我把她举到门厅的镜子前，如往常一样，她终于嬉皮笑脸，我盯着她那欢愉的咯咯笑的脸，那张脸旁边是我绝望的微笑。
When my wife Mia finally gets home, I hand the baby over and drop exhausted on to the sofa. I'm so tired that I'm in bed by nine, about the same time as Eira, and sleep through until 5:30 am, when her coughing and crying wakes me to the next day of my six-month stint.
我老婆米娅终于下班抵家时，我就把孩子交给她，精疲力尽地倒在沙发上。我太累了，九点就上床睡觉了，差不多和埃拉睡觉的时候一样，一向睡到早上5点半，她的咳嗽和哭声把我吵醒，开启6个月产假中的下一天。
累到不外晚上9点就能和孩子一路睡着，5:30就被咳嗽和啼哭唤醒，这典型的一天会反复180次，直到男性产假竣事。
英国没有瑞典那么年夜规模的爸爸带娃现象，是以这段履历给英国记者Richard Orange带来了新知。
他意识到本身带娃之前觉得本身能和妈妈们“共情”——在带娃这事儿上感同身受——有何等陋劣。
It has only taken a few weeks of this for me to know what the overwhelming majority of British fathers never find out. When I thought I was being sympathetic to my wife during her child leave, I wasn't being nearly sympathetic enough. And when I thought I was being understanding, I didn't understand a thing.
我只花了几个礼拜的时候就体味到了绝年夜大都英国父亲从不知道的工作。我觉得我在老婆休产假时代算是能共情的了，但其实远远不敷。我觉得我足够领会带孩子的坚苦，其实我全无所闻。
他采访的软件工程师Leon的不雅点也千篇一律。
In Sweden, men's painful discovery of how exhausting it is to look after a baby is believed to aid parental harmony. "You get a whole different understanding of how it is to take care of a child, because work is nothing in comparison," says Leon, 34, a software developer I met pushing his baby daughter on one of the swings in front of a Malmö café frequented by dads who use the playground. "I don't think looking after a child for a weekend is enough. You have two days of chaos, but you don't get into the routines."
瑞典男性疾苦地发现赐顾帮衬孩子是何等累人，人们认为这有助于怙恃协调。在马尔默城一个带孩子来玩儿的宝爸们经常帮衬的咖啡馆前面，我碰着了34岁的法式员里昂，他正推着女儿荡秋千，他说：“你对带小孩儿这件事儿会有一个完全分歧的理解，因为工作与之比拟真的就算不了什么。我感觉光是周末赐顾帮衬赐顾帮衬小孩是不敷的。你就履历了两天紊乱罢了，你底子不知道日常能有多乱。”
在爸爸带娃的叙事中，傍观者不免会起首注重到“拿铁爸爸”摩登、温柔、男人力的特质。
但育儿的素质不是陪玩和喝咖啡，它的琐碎藏在新闻头图的背后，在三更啼哭的婴儿房、在水溅一身的浴室、在每一个为婴儿挡开的锋利家具角。
人类幼崽的特别性决议了，带孩子，就是24小时随时在他/她身边待命。
所以，拿铁爸爸们受到很多女性赞赏不在于他们把婴儿车在年夜街上推出了秀场男榜样儿，而在于他们真实承担了育儿责任，让老婆不仅可以或许喘气，更能兼顾工作。
Swedes tend to see generous shared parental leave as good for the economy, since it prevents the nation's investment in women's education and expertise from going to waste.
瑞典人往往认为，给足共享育儿假对成长经济其实有益处，因为可以防止华侈国度对女性教育和专业培育的投资。
带娃当然不止苦与累，Richard Orange回望收成，记实道：
“很多我聊过的拿铁爸爸都提到本身和孩子的关系更亲近了，如果本身白日上班导致只能周末或晚上跟孩子相处的话，关系就会淡得多。我女儿Eira此刻一不欢快或者累了什么的就会往我这儿跑。她爷爷奶奶还有我伴侣来做客的时辰，此刻都是我把他们给说烦了，我能事无大小描述我女儿比来表情咋样、学会了什么新技术、爱吃些啥。
我对她成长中的每个小阶段都无比领会。我此刻感觉，赐顾帮衬小孩你得可以或许出格细心当真地筹办和打包那些个育儿设备、还得能面临臭臭忍得住恶心、得要心理本质壮大等等等等，这些能力，并非生成就是母职的一部门。”
你身边有如许的“拿铁爸爸”吗？
Notes
pram [præm] n. 婴儿车
tote [toʊt] v. 携带；搬运
taciturn [ˈtæsɪtɜːrn] adj. 一本正经的；缄默寡言的；默然不语的
